clothes

Angus has an unbelievable amount of clothing. His paternal grandmother is a shopping addict, and every time we see her, he gets 4 or 5 new outfits! Most are cute but some are not so cute. We usually manage to tell her when something isn't to our liking and she returns it - but I feel a little guilty so I let my husband do it. I will have to get over that. I think she has a closet full of clothes for him that she spreads out each time we go. He's a lucky little guy. If only Babywit had a store in Long Island!

Speaking of clothing, I need more. My body is a mess from being pregnant and I didn't buy any new clothes last year really, other than some maternity ones so I am severely lacking. I ordered some nice stuff from Old Navy, Gap and Banana Republic, but my favorite items come from Boden. Their stuff is lovely! Hopefully I will manage to look half decent when I go back to work next week. Hopefully I will be able to get away during the day to run to get some pants, as I am severly lacking in those. I don't know how I'm going to fix my body though. My balance is off and I have weight to lose...especially around my gut. That was the case even before I got pregnant, and much more so now. I'm actually not that far off from my pre-pregnancy weight, and hopefully when I get back to work and closer to things like salads, it will help. I think I would have a much better summer if I was happy about how my body looked. Bikini here I come - NOT!!!

my weight

I have been overweight for years. Not obese, but kinda "chunky" I guess you'd say. A few years ago I lost 30 pounds on weight watchers, and then gained about 15 back, which is where I was pre-pregnancy. During my pregnancy I gained about 35 pounds. Right after I gave birth I lost 25 of that very quickly, and now I need to lose just under 10 to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and then I'd like to lose some more. I was hoping that breast-feeding would take it all way like magic, but that doesn't work if you choose to eat whatever you want, instead of eating normally and healthfully. This last week I made some changes in my diet and am making a conscious effort to make smart choices, and hopefully when I go back to work, I will at least be at my pre-pregnancy weight. Wish me luck!

the first couple of weeks

I need to try to catch up to present day, but I feel like I have some holes to fill here! So.....I will talk about the first couple of weeks. They were pretty hard, and starting to become blurry. This must be one of the benefits of having a child...making you forget the difficult parts so you want to have more!

I was so bloated and my feet were giant when I got home. I also had stretch marks! None of those things happened while I was pregnant. The bloating and swelling was from the fluids they pumped into me, and I went down fast. After just a few days I had lost much of the water and thankfully the water weight! The c-section didn't make life very easy. I had a hard time getting up and my husband had to get everything for me. It was slow going for me. Thankfully my parents came to visit and they were a great help. Every day I felt a little bit better and became a little more mobile though. I tried to get outside for walks, but the weather didn't cooperate much and we had most of our coldest days right when I got home and needed to be outside!

I definitely didn't realize how time consuming a lot of things would be. Someone told me "newborns sleep a lot" and they failed to also use the phrase "some newborns"...MY newborn never sleeps! Well, he sleeps now, but initially he didn't sleep at all. Not even in the hospital after he was born. He was too worried about getting food to be concerned with sleep. Once we got home, he barely slept...I mean a few hours here and there, and gradually it got better, but anytime we got him to be asleep after a feeding, he would wake up as soon as we transferred him to his bassinet. I *think* he slept better at night, and for the first 2 weeks we were home so did I. Since we were supplementing with formula, my husband could get up and do one of the feedings and I could stay asleep - luxury!

Although that was nice, I had a LOT of anxiety about formula. I am a big breastfeeding advocate, and it broke my heart to have to give him formula..at least we used the organic stuff. The supplementing started in the hospital because he got a fever due to dehydration, so we had to keep doing it for a while, and then wean him off. That stuff is like baby crack. After he had the formula he would sleep SO deeply. I guess because it's higher in fat than breastmilk, so it takes less time to go through him, whereas especially in the early days of milk, I was producing skim and it went through him FAST. Anyway - I was very worried about how we would wean him off, and we started to just give him less and less, but then one day we just gave him none. It had been long enough that my milk was satisfying him more and he didn't seem to miss it or really notice.

Angus liked to eat ALL the time...I literally mean 18-20 out of the 24 hours in a day this kid would be on the boob as I like to say. It was VERY draining and I think I assumed he would eat, we would put him down and then he would sleep for a few hours. No dice. He would eat, sleep for a short time, wake up, eat, poop, etc. And in the middle of this he would be swaddled and unswaddled numerous times. Inevitably, once he was perfectly swaddled, he would take a giant poop and we would have to do that again. It was tricky...but it got and continues to get much better.

I got a good breastfeeding book, and it said that after about 40 days, things improve and you and your child figure each other out. That timeline was spot on. I've got many of his habits figured out and those first few weeks were nutty and sleep deprived and stressful....on top of my hormones working themselves out - many tears were shed - tears of joy and tears of stress. I haven't cried in a couple of weeks now though and it's been 7 weeks!

will this be the week?

My estimated due date is on FRIDAY! Yippee! I have been waiting to get here for 9 months, and although I know that only 3-5% of women actually give birth on their due dates, it feels good to almost be here. I still feel ok, which I am surprised at, but at night I feel like crap. I ate so much last night that I was so uncomfortable and I woke up at 5am and vurped (burp and a bit of vomit comes up). GROSS. I really feel like a whale. It's so hard to merely move from one side to the other, an ordeal if you will. I haven't considered kicking my husband out of bed yet, but it might come to that soon! I don't plan on taking any extreme measures and drinking castor oil, or trying any of the old wives tales quite yet, but I do plan on eating some Indian food on Friday night! I also have some red raspberry leaf tea, which is supposed to help, but I think I am a little scared to drink it. I want to let the baby choose it's own due date, but I want to meet it and be a mom soon too!

anxious!

My due date is now a mere 18 days away and it could really happen at any time! I'm excited and nervous and generally I have an undercurrent of excitement, nervousness and anxiety running through me at all times. It's always in the back of my mind - the question of "Oh my....what is this pain - is this a contraction?" with every ache and pain. However, the baby hasn't dropped yet (I don't think), so I don't think it's happening any time soon. My bowels have become a little looser though (I know T.M.I), but I can blame that on eating Christmas food maybe. Our next doctor's appointment is on Wednesday and it's the big 37 week appointment that I have been waiting for. We will get to see it, and they will do a vaginal exam, so I will know if I'm dilated or anything. The non-stress test will happen again and that will tell me if I am having any contractions, which as of last week I was not. So....these days I really look forward to going to the doctor! We've been going to dinner and going on dates - 2 movies and the ballet (Nutcracker - magical) as to take advantage of the fact that I am in NYC and I don't have to work right now, so that is an added bonus. Fingers crossed! I'd like to make it to close to the due date. I want a 2009 baby - and I like the idea of Jan 20th...inauguration day! That would be cool.

ankles and feet

Yikes! My ankles are starting to swell! Slowly but surely I can see them getting bigger. About a week or so I started wearing my hubby's socks since they're all old and worn out and baggy, as when I wore mine, I got an elastic line that looked like I was cutting off my circulation. Whoops. I think it's going to be so weird when they get giant. I've seen pregnant friends ankles and they can look like elephantiasis! Oh, and my feet are starting to hurt after not much walking. I guess this is all related, plus the fact that they are carrying about 30 extra pounds at this point. Oh, and I took off my engagement ring earlier this week....the wedding ring doesn't have much room either. Let's just hope my shoes still fit me for a while longer. In this weather, I don't think wearing flip flips is an option.

love and pain

DAMN this baby kicks HARD! Last night I was actually in pain and kind of freaked out by the strong kicks and movement I was feeling. I was like WHAT is the baby DOING? It chilled out a big, but I guess it's just getting bigger and stronger and has less room to move, so I am feeling it more - but it was weird. Maybe it was something I ate? Other than the strong kicks at night, I am also having more sleeping issues. I sleep well for the first few hours, and then I wake up, thinking that I must have slept through the night, but I glance at the clock and it's only 2:30am....argh! Then I toss and turn more for another 6 hours....Pillow between the knees, pillow under the belly, pillow under my head, pillow over my head - I'll be VERY happy when I can sleep on my back again!

I also am starting to feel like I almost 35 weeks pregnant this week. Yesterday I was feeling some pain in my ligaments after only walking about 2 blocks, and every time I get up from a chair I feel 95 years old. Actually i feel kind of similar to before I lost a bunch weight a few years ago....a little icky and achey! I am not at the point yet where I am saying "I can't wait to get this baby out of me" like some pregnant people I've come across....and frankly I can't ever see myself saying that. It seems harsh and mean. I feel like this baby is currently in the safest place it can ever be - don't get me wrong, I don't want to keep it in here forever, but once it's out - I have to share it, and having it in here and feeling it move is a warm, fuzzy and loving feeling that I will be sad to be done with.

pS> I think the image i've included is totally fake...it seems to be a pretty famous internet image. I call bullshit.

slow down lady!

That is me speaking to myself! I am generally a fast walker. I'm one of those people who has to walk faster than the person in front of them. HOWEVER - it's time that I slow down. A) I waddle and B) my ligaments get sore if I go to fast. I keep starting off fast and having to remind myself that I am nearing 34 weeks of pregnancy and I must go slower! It's funny though. I am amused at myself often. I am usually running late to places, so at least now I have a good excuse - "hey! I'm pregnant!". Oh, and in the last 24 hours, three people have told me that I'm glowing. hmmmmm....am I?

comfort level

My comfort level is going down, but really only at nighttime. I'm SO bored of sleeping on my side. I try to sleep on my left side, which they say is best, but I like my right side better. I've been sleeping with a pillow folded in half between my knees, but in the last week or so I will wake up and feel really uncomfortable - almost pain, but maybe not - in my hips. More like achy I guess. It's kind of hard to describe. Last night I put the pillow, unfolded between my calves and that was a little better, but I am not sure what to do to alleviate this feeling. I bought a snoogle a while back and I don't use it that often, but I might have to give it another try, or just get all the pillows in the house and experiment. I don't want to take up too much space though! My husband needs to sleep in there too! Otherwise, my daytime comfort level is ok. I wish I was still taking yoga though. I had NO aches or pains when I was doing that, so I might try one of my dvds or maybe will try to go to the class in my neighborhood this weekend. So, in short - things are ok. I'm getting WAY bigger too, and now getting kicked in the ribs! Doctor tomorrow! 

busy bad blogger

Sorry that I've been a bad blogger lately. I guess I've been a bit busy! For example, last night I decided to torture myself a bit and go shopping for some key items. I really needed a new pair of maternity jeans, and a new maternity bra. So...I went to H&M, The Gap and Macy's. I got a little something at each place and didn't get home until 9:30 or so, and then went out for dinner with my hubby, which put me WAY past my bedtime! I can still manage to do this, but it's getting tougher. My feet get sore (but they're not swollen yet) and my body aches a bit and I get cranky. I definitely cherish my sleep and my rest, and as time passes I need to sit back a little more and chillax haha. I used to walk all over the place endlessly, but I tire easily and can't go as far as I used to. Hey - I'm 31 weeks - what are you gonna do!

CHARLEY HORSE!!!!!

I think I've had a pretty normal/typical pregnancy, but there's only a few things that seem to happen to a large number of pregnant people that I have fallen prey to. For example, early on I had a few skin tags in my armpits, which really sucked for shaving purposes. They have since gone away. I've also been really zitty. I normally have good skin, so this extra oil production was a bummer, but I have controlled it with toner and it seems to have mostly gone away. BY far though, the worst thing is the charley horses I seem to get at LEAST once a week. Usually while sleeping, or half-sleeping, I guess I move my leg the wrong way - and not always with a stretch. It's like a fire alarm in our home. I yell "CHARLEY HORSE" and bless him, my husband grabs for whichever leg I give him and he helps me work it out. Well, he does most of it and I just grab by toes and pull down for the stretch. He is the best and I wonder what the neighbors thing when they hear me yell once a week...well, I bet I know what they think - but they are wrong. Anyway - my brother said "you're dehydrated" and surely that would be the case if I wasn't pregnant, but this is a typical pregnancy thing and the worst one for me so far! I need to do more stretching of the calf muscles, because it's just WAY too jarring to wake up like this, and I need my beauty sleep!

prenatal yoga & exercise

My series of four prenatal yoga classes are over, and honestly - - I'm kind of sad! I quite enjoyed them. I would have signed up for the next round, but I would have had to miss the first 2 classes, and it would be a waste of $. I met a nice lady who is due a week before me, who goes to a class on Saturday mornings in my neighborhood here, so I might try to go to that, but it's at 9am - and that's EARLY!!! But I think it would be good for me to find some drop in classes to go to. I think the stretching was good for me. I was sweating the last class - she worked us HARD! I am a big fan of structured exercise. I am never good at doing videos or things at home, and much prefer a group environment. My belly is growing FAST and I am in turn, moving a lot slower, so I need to keep motivated in order not to just lay on the couch.

37

I am going to be 37 tomorrow. Whoa! 3 years from 40. No biggie really. I have to do math to remember how old I am most of the time. I think I stopped paying attention as soon as I turned 21. I remember telling my husband I wanted to be pregnant before I was 38, so we succeeded in that front, and now if we have another one, maybe by the time I'm 40! Generally I feel good. I think I eat relatively healthily, and take good care of myself. I could use more exercise, but that will come. I'm hoping to work really hard after the baby is born and do a lot of walking and exercising and I think I will be determined to get the weight off - at least I hope so! Either way, this will be a special birthday - my last one before we turn into a real "nuclear" family!

chivalry is dead

If you'd ever like to assure being totally ignored on the subway, I highly advise getting pregnant. It's really funny how rude and awful people get. Since I am a nice person, I will always give up my seat for an old person, someone with a cane or crutches or someone pregnant. Apparently I am in the minority. Only 3 people have ever gotten up for me. I don't totally mind standing, since it's usually only for 2 stops until most people get off and I can sit - and my route home is at the beginning of the line, so there is always a seat for me. I think when I am feeling worse I will try harder to get a seat...like glare a little and flaunt my belly. But seriously.....people are rude!

It seems like murphy's law, that as soon as I post something saying the baby is kicking a TON, that the kicking slows down. It figures! After a couple of days of plentiful kicks, the kicking is now very sporadic and not happening too often. I'm not worried since everything I've read says that I have a few weeks to go before it SHOULD be more consistent, plus I know that my placenta is on the front, so there is a big cushion between the kicking and feeling the kicks. I am convinced that it's just not facing out and that's why I'm not feeling it. Either way, we have the doctor on Wednesday, so I will ask her opinion on when it should be more consistent.

In other news, I somehow twisted my back the other night and I stand and walk crooked. I was in SO much pain yesterday that I didn't leave the house and I just napped and tried to remain comfortable. Now I have a bad back, but this was some of the worst pain I've been in in a very long time. It feels a bit better today, and better once I walk for a bit. I had a hunch that I should have at least goen for a walk yesterday, but I didn't. That probably would have made things feel a whole lot better. Here's to hoping it goes away soon!
PS> I'm 22 weeks....5.5 months!

how AM i feeling?

I have been feeling good. I don't feel pregnant all the time, except for some pains here and there. My boobs are getting sore again, and I have some ligament pain that comes and goes. My ability to sleep isn't good. I toss and turn a LOT. It's not comfortable to sleep on my stomach anymore since it feels like I'm sleeping on a grapefruit, and I haven't allowed myself to sleep on my back since I know I'm not supposed to - although that seems to be something I could do if I wanted to....but I know later I won't be able to, so why treat myself? I used Johnny's pillow last night and that was a nice change. Then I tried to sleep on the couch, and then I just brought a different pillow from the living room over to our room to try. I seem to be in a deep slumber right around the time that I'm supposed to be awake. At least I was in bed by 10:30, so that was good. I'm not really showing - ok - maybe a little, but I am chubby to start with, so all I feel is fat, and when I push down it feels hard underneath but there's so much fat to get through. I can't wait until I'm REALLY showing and everything, fat included hopefully - gets hard. Right now, well - especially today because I am wearing the wrong shirt - I generally feel self-conscious about my stomach area. I plan to join the Y so I can start swimming, and I plan tonight to try my prenatal yoga dvd. I've been saying that for weeks, so wish me luck. Otherwise, I do feel generally pretty good. They call this 2nd trimester the easy one, and then the third will be crappy.....I should be lucky that I can sleep at all, because god knows what will happen when I am 7 - 8 - 9 months pregnant!

questions questions questions!!!

Ok...not much to really report in pregnancy land - I'm still not really showing, although my hubby thinks I am (and I remind him that I am chubby and he's still looking at my gut, not a baby belly). I feel good and I am slowly getting used to 50 people a day asking me how I'm feeling...."oh yeah, i feel great". When I really want to say "remember when you asked me that yesterday?" I guess people feel like they need to acknowledge it or something and that's the most creative thing they can think of? Or maybe they really want to know! I dunno. As you can tell maybe, I have a case of the grumps today...and yesterday too. If PMS was possible these days, I would be having it - but I think I'm just super tired. I need to go to bed way earlier every night, and I haven't been and it's really catching up with me. I need to go to bed at 10:30 - not midnight or later!

PS> I'm 15 weeks, 5 days!

gross

The second I walked in the door tonight I was plagued with horrible cramps....but I know these cramps. These cramps are my body telling me it wants to poop (sorry...) I have suffered from some serious constipation the last few days for which I can only blame myself. I know I haven't been drinking enough water at work, and I need to smarten up. Anyway - tonight I had the pleasure of these cramps, then vomiting, followed finally by well, let's just say "the other end". I don't know if I ate something, or if this is some form of pregnancy illness, but I'm going to self-diagnose myself with 1) constipation and 2)food poisoning....for which I also blame myself for. I went to an outdoor event, and ate potato salad that was in the VIP area. It looked fresh, it tasted fresh, but I think maybe it was a bad idea. Anyway - I'm sure I'll have more sunshine and rainbows to talk about soon!

PS> I discovered some cool websites which I have added as new links.Ohdeeoh, Modern Seed, Babywit and Babble